Girly magazine sillyness
July 18th, 2005
I read a girly magazine that my flatmate left on the table while I was eating my breakfast today. Check out some of this crap (direct quotes), from an article titled His date moves decoded>
“His hands cover his crotch = he’s indecisive and wants looking after.He looks away to the left while talking to you = he’s thinking of his past – could be one of his exes!
He looks away to the right while talking to you = he’s imagining something. If he’s facing you, he could be fantasising about you.”
“He is lying back in his chair = he’s letting you know how great he’d look in bed.”
“If the tongue pokes out of his mouth, he’s signalling disapproval, or even disgust. You’re probably not the date he was looking for, but don’t take it too personally – this man is just telling you you’re not his ideal.”
“A raised eyebrow is a signal of active interest. The initial signs would appear to be very positive.”
Well, if hell ever gets cold enough and I actually manage to get a date with someone who reads this, I’m going to be completely and unfairly fucked (not in the good sense). I do all of this stuff all the time – I must have an active interest in every single person I meet, fantasise about everyone on the planet, be disgusted at everything, think I’m great in bed and be very indecisive all the time.
What a load of guff. A complete bag of nonsense. I’m just restless enough to move around all the time – I certainly don’t signal all my mates that I’m great in bed, that I’m interested in them and that I want looking after (yeuch!). I’m telling you, it’ll be just my luck… :roll:
July 20th, 2005 at 08:48 PM
HAHAHAHA!
Hmm, Do you reckon there’s a medical/psychiatric link between indecision and itchy bollocks?
July 23rd, 2005 at 02:54 PM
“His hands cover his crotch = he’s indecisive and wants looking after”
He’s more likely got his thumbs stealthily inserted through his flies & is scrathing out half a pound of chalk dust, gravel & random plant debris from the bouldering session he was on, before she dragged him away shopping aye Mark
July 23rd, 2005 at 03:02 PM
Reminds me of that old joke: Man on train reading climbing mag, sat opposite woman. Woman after a while of unbearable digust coughs & says: “Scuse me young man, but your willy is sticking out!” Man looks down at said offending willy & replies: “Don’t flatter yersel, it’s hanging out” Goes back to issue 25 of High
July 25th, 2005 at 05:11 PM
Ah the science of lurve. Judging by the program on telly last night matching up scientist beliefs in the laws of attraction and speeddating neither seem to have a clue where to start… The sad lecturer bloke from Glasgow who scored Nil Points (even after the show makeover) had me gushing :.( Women are indeed as shallow as the opposite sex…
August 21st, 2005 at 03:09 AM
Hmm I recall you usually do most of that stuff when talking to me :/
WTF are your intentions!
!oneoneeleventyone!!